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词条 Draft:C.U.L.T. of E
释义

  1. The Book Of E

  2. The Rules

  3. The Core Rules

  4. Holidays and Days of celebration

  5. References

  6. Cult of E

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The Church Under Leadership of a Torontonian of E is a religion founded in Toronto.[1] This religion is not a cult as it actually does not worship a person though many like to call it one. The informal name is the C.U.L.T of E because of their acronym. The church holds a service at 10:00 every Sunday.[2] The religion is rapidly growing, and members can often be heard at 10:30 AM doing their daily prayer. The religion is based around the Book of E, their holy book. You can always tell if someone is a member of the C.U.L.T of E on a Tuesday or a Friday as they must wear red short sleeve shirts on top and the shirts visible.[3]

The Book Of E

The Book of E is the holy book in the religion. It has the stories of creation and the rules they must obey. This book is quite short being only 10 parts long with each having a different theme. The part of the Book of E are as follows.

  1. _
  2. The Creation
  3. Elephants
  4. The Rules
  5. Biscoto
  6. Holidays
  7. Days of Celebration
  8. The High Priest
  9. Fiji
  10. The Prophecy&91;3&93;

The Rules

The religion has many rules for all of its members to follow. To date there are seven major rules. These rules dictate what a member shall wear and do. These are the major rules

  1. All Eists must wear red short-sleeved shirts on Tuesday and Fridays, in honor of Iorrie Isaacs.
  2. All must wear a Purple Pin on the 5th of every month,in honor of Frank Jevons, and the number of E
  3. On the 7th of January, all members must listen to the sound of Kahoot Music for 10 minutes, to remember the joy of E.
  4. Upon turning 26, all members must eat a stew made of chicken, to remember the sacrifice of Millard and Spaghettini .
  5. All members must make a trip to Oshawa, Ontario once in their lives. On this trip they must drink from Oshawa Creek to witness E.
  6. When death falls upon any of our members they are brought to Oshawa Creek and their pinkies are left as a tribute to the stew made so long ago. Their bodies are then crucified and then sprinkled around their house to be remembered as dust.
  7. All members must have a copy of the book of E in their homes, and must pray each day.&91;3&93;

The Core Rules

These are different than the rules as these are more of moral values and ways of acting and not strict things one should do. The core rules are what all members shall abide by at all times. These rules are not bind to specific times but more whenever things happen in life they are the way you respond to things

  1. You shall shake hands after a sports match
  2. Thy shall never clap after a movie or plane flight unless the plane flight was in mortal danger.
  3. Thou shall not use the term “staycation”
  4. Thou shalt always thank the bus driver
  5. Be a emotionally positive person
  6. Signal when you are on the verge of a devastating car crash.
  7. Pretend to be emotionally positive even if you are about to collapse due to the pressures of life.
  8. If you vomit on one’s face, clean it up with a handkerchief
  9. If you are emotionally unstable because you are on the verge of a devastating car crash you shall signal and act emotionally positive&91;3&93;

Holidays and Days of celebration

The holidays and days of celebration are a group of days where you can take time off from work and school to celebrate your religion and E. The main holiday of the religion is the Day of E which takes place on april 6th. On this holiday members are allowed to worship all day and may travel to Oshawa and eat the stews of birth. The new year of the religion takes place on the 10th of september. The main part of the celebration of this holiday is throwing book into the air to celebrate E who is in the sky. December 31st is the most fun holiday or day of celebration as that is the day of blooming flame the day where you launch fireworks into the sky to celebrate the great power of E.

References

1. ^{{Cite web|url=https://twitter.com/cult_e/|title=Cult Of E (@cult_e) {{!}} Twitter|last=|first=|date=|website=twitter.com|language=en|archive-url=|archive-date=|dead-url=|access-date=2018-10-23}}
2. ^{{Cite news|url=https://twitter.com/cult_e/status/1043154195422093315|title=Cult Of E on Twitter|work=Twitter|access-date=2018-10-23|language=en}}
3. ^{{Cite news|url=https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CGbf6NdQv_WX4C7Ev-cdRTosW015lqnB8zcmhh1y5kU/edit|title=E|work=Google Docs|access-date=2018-10-23|language=en}}

Cult of E

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