| 词条 | Draft:Gage Ansman's Biography |
| 释义 |
Chapter 1 It was the year 1955 when Gage was born. It was in the midst of the Vietnam war and Gage was born in the middle of the battlefield. Gage not knowing what to do he picked up a gun and started screaming racial surles until Terrance came up to him and smacked him on the face. Gage started to cry and asked Terrance “WHY!” Terrance replied with “Cause we owe you 2,000 punches, me and Raiden were keeping count on how many times we had to punch you.” Then Raiden randomly appeared out of nowhere Gage screamed in terror and asked “Where did you come from” Raiden replies with “My mom.” After Raiden and Terrance where done beating up Gage, Connor walked by and said “ ahh you guys already beat up Gage without me” Terrance sighed “Yes we did, we just couldn’t let Gage get away with this.” Connor said “Well I mean he did deserve it.” “This isn’t even the worst of it” said Josh exidealty “Wait until we get our Hasbro’s torture kits out for ages 3 and up” said Andy. Chapter 2 While they were “interrogating” Gage, A man with a filmerly face came by asking us if we knew how to “interrogated” the right Raiden replied with “Maybe”, Ethan said “No Why” “He’s dead” the stranger replied Andy said “oops looks like we “interrogated” the wrong way again” “again?” Terrance said questionly “Yeah Terrance I thought you were there for the last time that we “interrogated” Gage” said Aerien “No I wasn’t” Terrance replied “Well Terrance you’ll know that we have this magical bean that reviles people” Connor said normally “Yup I already used it on Gage” Raiden said excitedly “You guy are jerks” Gage said annoyed “Ahh we love you too Gage no homo” said Josh “strangers, strangers do you know what those beans are made of?” said the stranger “Yeah they're made of Gage’s hopes and dreams” said Andy happily ”No you idiots their Gage’s farts that went on the grass and implanted itself into the ground, then later on they come out as a bean stock then there processed with the blood of Gage then their soaked in the tears of children.” “ That explains why it only works Gage” said Raiden “No that explains everything Raiden!” Ethan said angrily “So why is Gage gay then” said Connor “Alright I’ll tell you all the story of Gage’s gayness” said the Stranger “Ahh I’m right here and I’m not gay” said Gage annoyed “Yeah sure that’s what they all say” said everyone expect Gage.Chapter 3 It was the year 666 B.C. when everyone was living in harmony until that fateful day which was June 9 when Gage’s ancestor Gage the Gayth was born. You might ask what’s so wrong with that, it was nothing until you find out on the first day he was born he murdered and enslaved over 9,000 people. So the great hero know as Deacon “man of many faces” came forth to put an end to Gage the Gayth. It was a long hard journey but after Deacon got his army of millions, a bunch of weapons and headbands that gave people infinite ammo, Deacon knew it was time to attack. Many died from the traps, others died of heart attacks after finding out what Gage the Gayth did but worst of all was his face but thank god that Deacon was wearing his sunglasses but everyone else was turned to stone. There was on last thing Deacon had to get through on last thing and that was the gayness. It proved too strong so Deacon preformed the evil containment wave to keep him trapped until the next person named Gage in his family who was born in a war and that’s how you came to know the Gage that you love to hate. “Yeah seems legit” said Terrance “NO!!! It doesn't” said Gage “That never happened and how could it” “Because reasons that don’t need to be explained” said Raiden “Yeah Gage” said Connor. Chapter 4 After learning the truth about Gage, Bomb squad decided to embark on a adventure to help to cope, so they went to find the only person qualified for the job George Washington Gage doubtfully said “I don’t need this, That never happen.” “Oh sure and my middle name is Susan and it’s not.” said Courage The Cowardly Dog ”Why is he here.” said Gage annoyed “Just cause……...4” said Connor, Gage then face palmed and said “let's just go and find George Washington” after that the Bomb squad and Courage continued on the trip until they came upon a wall and this wasn’t no ordinary wall it was the Trump wall “finally we don’t have to do this anymore” Gage said excitedly “No Gage you’re wrong, We have a secret weapon.” Andy said “What is it Courage” Gage replied “No you stupid idiot It’s Terrorist Terrance” Raiden said “Oh really what’s Terrance going to do” Gage replied “Hey guys we can get through now” Terrance said as activating the explosions, then a huge hole was in the wall and many Mexicans ran through it. “We’re going to jail aren’t we” Gage said “No you are” Raiden said as he was knocking out Gage. Chapter 5 Gage wakes up in prison asking “What happened and why does my head hurt so much” “don’t know what happen to you but I know what’s about to happen” someone replied in a familiar voice “is that….” Gage was then interrupted by the big man “Yup it’s me Big Bubba.” “Nononononono That’s not happening” Then a guard came in “Gage you’re wanted in court for your trail” “Oh thank god” Gage said. Gage went to the courtroom and sat down and said “alright what am I in for and who is representing me.” Gage in the back of his mind thought it would be represented by Phoenix Wright cause if Courage was here then he could be here. The Judge said “alright you’re here for blowing up the Trump Wall and the person or people I should say are your friends from the Bomb squad” Gage smacked his head on the table and said “I wanna die” “Okay” Josh said excitedly then he pulled a gun out and put it to Gage’s head “No I was just kidding” “Ahh” Josh said then Courage said “Yeah sure and my middle name George and it’s not” “Alright enough talk is the defented ready for trail” said the Judge “honestly your honor no I’m not. Can I get better attorneys” “NO GAGE” the whole courtroom said and the judge “Hold it” said another oddly familiar voice said as oddly familiar music started to play the person came out from the door and it was “drum roll” he slowly came out the door the door as the music was playing as the door opening he’s name was “another drum roll for dramatic effect” He’s name is Phhhhhhhhhhh………. John Cena dun dun dun Gage said “Are you Fing kidding me” “No” said the Judge “That’s your other representative” Gage started to repeatedly slam his head against the floor until Obama walked in and bribed the Judge the to say Gage isn’t guilty. After the court case Obama walked up to Gage and “Thanks Gage you did everyone a favor and blew up the Trump Wall.” “So that’s why you bailed me out” Gage replied “Yup I also got you guys and private jet to get you and Bomb Squad to George Washington” “Yeah” Gage said sarcastically “You’re welcome” Obama said as he went in his car and drove off into the sunset. The Bomb Squad, Courage and John Cena all go into the private jet Obama has given them to their surprise they find Keith David flying the jet Courage asked “Mr. David do you know how to fly a jet” Keith replies with “Can the pope fit his dick through a donut” “I don’t know” Courage said Keith then replied with “Exactly” so then the jet stopped immediately in the air and went straight down crashing into an island. John Cena comes out the jet crash with everyone on his shoulder “Is everyone okay” said John Cena “Mentally no, physically maybe” said Raiden “can I go home now” Gage said in a annoyed tone, Keith David walked up to Gage and said “Gage did you think I gave up acting when things weren't good.” “No” “And do you think I’m going to give up dream of flying now cause I crashed” “No but if I’m being honest you should not be practicing flying a plane with people on it.” “Ha that never stopped me before” “Well it should because you could kill people” “Gage this was my first time flying and no one is dead” “but you left us all stranded on a island” Josh stops the conversation to ask “does anyone know where we are?”. Man with a very familiar face and a mustache comes out of a hut that was there (for some reason and no one noticed until now) “Da you are at KFJ how may I help” “What does KFJ mean?” Courage asked then the man looked at the group then he saw Gage and froze for a bit “Ahh it…. It stands for Kindness…. Uhhhh Friendlyness and uhhhhh…… juice” “Really” said Gage “Why did you start acting nervous as soon as you saw me” “Uhh it’s because…… your the chosen one da the chosen one.” “Yes” Gage said excitedly “Yeah yeah we’re going to serve you.” Keith David interrupted the conversation “Hey I don’t think we got your name” “Uh it’s Adolll… I’m mean a wolf dog hitter” “Yeah and my middle name is Yogurt and it’s not” Courage said Then Captain Falcon came in the blue falcon and ran over “A Wolf Dog” and killed him. Captain Falcon jumped out of the Blue Falcon and said show me your moves John Cena then went for a sucker punch but Captain Falcon dogged it and then did the Falcon PunchIt launched John and the others into the Blue Falcon then he drove off with them. Chapter 7 John Cena was knocked out but not the others so Keith David screamed “What the hell are you doing!” Captain Falcon replied with “Come on” then Keith David and Captain Falcon went into an epic battle but they crash after a minute of the battle cause no one was driving the Blue Falcon so they crashed John Cena woke up and everyone else was still fine but they saw they crashed into a pink building an old man walked up to the crash site to see what happened but then he realized that a jet crashed into his house, then he saw that the people were knocked out but then John Cena woke up the old man started yelling at him “What the hell did you do to my house” “Well it wasn’t us it was Captain Falcon’s fault” “How do I know who is who” the old man then started to scream out for someone “GOKU….GOKU!” then a man in orange gi walk while he was stuffing his face with food “Yeah Master Roshi” while the man talked he had a bunch food in his mouth “Goku I need your help getting rid of these guys” “Can it wait Master Roshi I haven’t started eating yet” “NO!!!! Goku and which you’ve been eating for the last hour now” John Cena interrupted the conservation “Wait guys I know how to settle this” John Cena threw out capsule containing a wrestling ring “We’ll settle this with a good old fashion, In the ring.” “Alright Goku let’s do this” “ But Master Roshi i’m eating right now” “GOKU!!!!” “Wait” John Cena said “This isn’t fair it’s a 1v2” “Well that’s why I’m here” “Mike Tyson” “Yup that’s me, and you’re John Cena” “Yeah that’s me so let’s do this Mike” “Alright John”. Chapter 8 Chapter 9 “So what were you doing any ways” Goku said “We were looking for George Washington so Gage could cope with his gayness” Courage said “Hey guys news flash his dead” “Oh hey Piccolo what you doing here” “I’m saving these guys the trouble for looking for a dead man” “Yeah no shit Piccolo” Gage said “Oh yeah Gage how did you know he was dead” Courage said “Courage he’s been dead for years” “Yeah and my middle name is Gay age and it’s not” “That’s not my name” “Guys wait” Goku said “We can just use the dragon balls to bring him back” “Why would we do that Goku” “So Gage can cope with his gayness Piccolo” “Alright fine, but I’m not getting involved with any of this stupid stuff” “Ah ha Kakarot already got the dragon balls” “Wow Vegeta you did all that” “Goku he just stole them from some poor family that found them and needed it” “Ah shut up Piccolo, if they didn’t want them stolen they wouldn’t of left them out” “He’s got point” Aerien said “Yeah that guy agrees with me” “Alright then Vegeta let’s get to summon Shenron” Goku then said "Eternal Dragon, by your name, I summon you forth Shenron!” “You that have gather the 7 dragon balls, state your wish” “Alright Shenron revive George Washington and bring him here” alright your wish has been granted then the dragon balls went away and Shenron disappeared (Like Gage’s dad). “Ah were am I who are you, why is there a pink talking dog and green guy” “Oh that’s just Piccolo and Courage. Any way we need your help.” Alright guy with weird hair how may I help you” “Our friend Gay here” “GAGE” “Oh yeah sorry, Gage needs your help with his gayness” “Uh okay, hmm he seems not gay” “Oh my god Gage he cured you of the gay” said Connor “Alright can I go home know” “alright “Gunshot” you request has been fulfilled” “Why is Agent 47 here?” Gage said “Because why not” Raiden said “No I just came here to assassinate George Washington” “Wait how did you know that he was revived?” “I have my ways” then Agent 47 disappeared (Like my hopes and dreams). “Now what” Gage said “Falcon punch” then the Bomb Squad was sent flying back home” then Gage woke up from his wet dream Fin……..? Referencessome the charters in this were from Dragon Ball, Courage the Cowardly dog, Scooby doo, Capcom, Fallout 4 Hitman |
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