词条 | Personal boundaries |
释义 |
According to some counselors, personal boundaries help to define an individual by outlining likes and dislikes, and setting the distances one allows others to approach.[5] They include physical, mental, psychological and spiritual boundaries, involving beliefs, emotions, intuitions and self-esteem.[6] Jacques Lacan considered such boundaries to be layered in a hierarchy, reflecting "all the successive envelopes of the biological and social status of the person".[7] Personal boundaries operate in two directions, affecting both the incoming and outgoing interactions between people.[8] These are sometimes referred to as the "protection" and "containment" functions.[2] ScopeThe three most commonly mentioned categories of values and boundaries are:
Some authors have expanded this list with additional or specialized categories such as spirituality,[9][11] truth,[11] and time/punctuality.[8] TypesNina Brown proposed four boundary types:[12]
ApplicationThe personal boundaries concept is particularly pertinent in environments with controlling people or people not taking responsibility for their own life.[11] Co-Dependents Anonymous recommends setting limits on what members will do to and for people and on what members will allow people to do to and for them, as part of their efforts to establish autonomy from being controlled by other people’s thoughts, feelings and problems.[13]The National Alliance on Mental Illness tells its members that establishing and maintaining values and boundaries will improve the sense of security, stability, predictability and order, in a family even when some members of the family resist. NAMI contends that boundaries encourage a more relaxed, nonjudgmental atmosphere and that the presence of boundaries need not conflict with the need for maintaining an understanding atmosphere.[14] Risks of reestablishingIn Families and How to Survive Them, Robin Skynner MD explains methods for how family therapists can effectively help family members to develop clearer values and boundaries by when treating them, drawing lines, and treating different generations in different compartments[15] – something especially pertinent in families where unhealthy enmeshment overrides normal personal values.[16] However, the establishment of personal values and boundaries in such instances may produce a negative fall-out,[16] if the pathological state of enmeshment had been a central attraction or element of the relationship.[17] This is especially true if the establishment of healthy boundaries results in unilateral limit setting which did not occur previously. It is important to distinguish between unilateral limits and collaborative solutions in these settings.[2] AngerAnger is a normal emotion that involves a strong uncomfortable and emotional response to a perceived provocation. Often, it indicates when one's personal boundaries are violated. Anger may be utilized effectively by setting boundaries or escaping from dangerous situations.[18]Complicating factorsAddictionsAddicts often believe that being in control of others is how to achieve success and happiness in life. People who follow this rule use it as a survival skill, having usually learned it in childhood. As long as they make the rules, no one can back them into a corner with their feelings.[19] Mental illnessPeople with certain mental conditions are predisposed to controlling behavior including those with obsessive compulsive disorder, paranoid personality disorder,[20] borderline personality disorder,[21] and narcissistic personality disorder,[22] attention deficit disorder,[23] and the manic state of bipolar disorder.[23]
CodependencyCodependency often involves placing a lower priority on one's own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others. Codependency can occur in any type of relationship, including family, work, friendship, and also romantic, peer or community relationships.[27]While a healthy relationship depends on the emotional space provided by personal boundaries,[28] codependent personalities have difficulties in setting such limits, so that defining and protecting boundaries efficiently may be for them a vital part of regaining mental health.[16] In a codependent relationship, the codependent's sense of purpose is based on making extreme sacrifices to satisfy their partner's needs. Codependent relationships signify a degree of unhealthy clinginess, where one person doesn't have self-sufficiency or autonomy. One or both parties depend on the other for fulfillment.[29] There is usually an unconscious reason for continuing to put another person's life first, often for the mistaken notion that self-worth comes from other people. Dysfunctional family
Communal influencesFreud described the loss of conscious boundaries that may occur when an individual is in a unified, fast-moving crowd.[32]Almost a century later, Steven Pinker took up the theme of the loss of personal boundaries in a communal experience, noting that such occurrences could be triggered by intense shared ordeals like hunger, fear or pain, and that such methods were traditionally used to create liminal conditions in initiation rites.[33] Jung had described this as the absorption of identity into the collective unconscious.[34] Rave culture has also been said to involve a dissolution of personal boundaries, and a merger into a binding sense of communality.[35]Unequal power relationsAlso unequal relations of political and social power influence the possibilities for marking cultural boundaries and more generally the quality of life of individuals.[36] Unequal power in personal relationships, including abusive relationships, can make it difficult for individuals to mark boundaries. See also{{columns-list|colwidth=18em|
}} References1. ^{{cite web|url=http://www.guidetopsychology.com/boundaries.htm|title=Boundaries : Psychological Boundaries - Healthy Boundaries|author=|date=|website=www.guidetopsychology.com}} 2. ^1 2 {{cite book|last1=Graham|first1=Michael C.|title=Facts of Life: ten issues of contentment|date=2014|publisher=Outskirts Press|isbn=978-1-4787-2259-5|pages=159}} 3. ^Vanessa Rogers, Working with Young Men (2010) pp. 80, 161 4. ^{{cite web|last1=Johnson|first1=R. Skip|title=Setting Boundaries and Setting Limits|publisher=BPDFamily.com|url=http://bpdfamily.com/content/setting-boundaries|accessdate=10 June 2014}} 5. ^G. B. and J. S. Lundberg, I Don't Have to Make Everything All Better (2000) p. 13. {{ISBN|978-0-670-88485-8}} 6. ^Timothy Porter-O'Grady, Kathy Malloch, Quantum Leadership (2003) p. 135 7. ^Jacques Lacan, Ecrits (1997) pp. 16–17 8. ^1 Katherine, Anne Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day (2000), pp. 16–25 9. ^1 2 {{cite book|last1=Charles L. Whitfield, M.D|title=Boundaries and Relationships: Knowing, Protecting and Enjoying the Self|date=2010|publisher=HCI Books|isbn=978-1558742598|edition=2}} 10. ^1 {{cite book|last1=Katherine|first1=Anne|title=Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin|date=1994|publisher=Hazelden|isbn=978-1568380308|page=5}} 11. ^1 2 3 4 {{cite book|last1=John Townsend, PhD|last2=Henry Cloud PhD|title=Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life|pages=245|date=1 November 1992|publisher=HarperCollins Christian Publishing|location=Nashville|isbn=9780310585909}} 12. ^Brown, Nina W., Coping With Infuriating, Mean, Critical People – The Destructive Narcissistic Pattern (2006). {{ISBN|978-0-275-98984-2}} 13. ^{{cite book|title=Setting Boundaries: Meditations for Codependents (Moment to Reflect)|date=August 1995|publisher=Harpercollins|isbn=9780062554017}} 14. ^{{cite web|last1=Bayes|first1=Kathy|title=Setting Boundaries In A Marriage Complicated By Mental Illness|url=http://www2.nami.org/Content/Microsites138/NAMI_Fort_Wayne_Indiana/Home128/Information_for_Spouses_and_Partners1/Boundaries.doc|website=National Alliance on Mental Illness}} 15. ^Robin Skynner/John Cleese, Families and How to Survive Them (London 1993) pp. 93, 213 16. ^1 2 {{cite book|last1=Weinhold|first1=Barry|last2=Weinhold|first2=Janae|title=Breaking Free of the Co-Dependency Trap|date=28 January 2008|publisher=New World Library|location=Novato|isbn=978-1577316145|pages=192, 198|edition=Second}} 17. ^Richard G. Abell, Own Your Own Life (1977) pp. 119–122 18. ^{{cite book|title=Psychiatric Mental Health Nursing|edition=3rd|last=Videbeck|first=Sheila L.|publisher=Lippincott Williams & Wilkins|year=2006}} 19. ^Fenley, Jr., James L. Finding a Purpose in the Pain (2012) 20. ^{{Cite news|last=Goldberg, MD|first=Joseph|title=Paranoid Personality Disorder |url=http://webmd.com/mental-health/paranoid-personality-disorder|date=23 May 2014|accessdate=20 October 2014}} 21. ^Braiker, Harriet B., Who's Pulling Your Strings? How to Break The Cycle of Manipulation (2006) 22. ^{{cite book|last1=Brown|first1=Nina|title=Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents|date=1 April 2008|publisher=New Harbinger Publications|isbn=978-1572245617|page=35|edition=Second}} 23. ^1 {{cite journal|last1=Cermak M.D.|first1=Timmen L.|title=Diagnostic Criteria for Codependency|journal=Journal of Psychoactive Drugs|date=1986|volume=18|issue=1|pages=15–20|doi=10.1080/02791072.1986.10524475|pmid=3701499}} 24. ^{{cite web|last1=Danielle|first1=Alicia|title=Codependency and Borderline Personality Disorder: How to Spot It|url=http://www.borderlinepersonalitytreatment.com/codependency-and-borderline-personality-disorder-how-to-spot-it.html|publisher=Clearview Women's Center|accessdate=5 December 2014}} 25. ^{{Cite journal|last=Hong|first=Soo Jung|date=2017-05-25|title=Gendered Cultural Identities: The Influences of Family and Privacy Boundaries, Subjective Norms, and Stigma Beliefs on Family Health History Communication|journal=Health Communication|volume=33|issue=8|pages=927–938|doi=10.1080/10410236.2017.1322480|pmid=28541817|issn=1041-0236}} 26. ^{{cite book|last1=Hotchkiss, LCSW|first1=Sandra|title=Why Is It Always About You? (Chapter 7)|publisher=Free Press|location=New York|isbn=9780743214285|date=2003-08-07}} 27. ^{{cite web|title=Patterns and Characteristics of Codependence|url=http://coda.org/index.cfm/meeting-materials1/patterns-and-characteristics-2011/|website=coda.org|publisher=Co-Dependents Anonymous|accessdate=25 June 2011}} 28. ^Patrick Casement, Further Learning from the Patient (London 1990) p. 160 29. ^{{cite web|last1=Wetzler, PhD|first1=Scott|title=Psychology division chief at Albert Einstein College of Medicine|url=http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/signs-of-a-codependent-relationship|publisher=WebMD|accessdate=5 December 2014}} 30. ^{{cite book|last1=Lancer|first1=Darlene|title=Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You|date=2014|publisher=Hazelden|location=Minnesota|isbn=978-1-61649-533-6|pages=63–65}} 31. ^Codependents Anonymous: Patterns and Characteristics {{webarchive|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20130824075736/http://www.coda.org/tools4recovery/Patterns2-2011.htm |date=2013-08-24 }} 32. ^Sigmund Freud, 'Le Bon's Description of the Group Mind', in Civilization, Society and Religion (PFL 12) pp. 98–109 33. ^Steven Pinker, The Stuff of Thought (2007) p. 403 34. ^{{cite book|last1=Jung|first1=Carl Gustav|title=Man and His Symbols|date=15 August 1968|publisher=Dell|isbn=978-0440351832|page=123}} 35. ^{{cite book|last1=Jones|first1=Carole|title=Disappearing Men: Gender Disorientation in Scottish Fiction 1979-1999 (Scroll: Scottish Cultural Review of Language and Literature) (Book 12)|date=10 September 2009|publisher=Rodopi|isbn=978-9042026988|page=176}} 36. ^{{cite journal|author=Colin P.T. Baillie|url=http://ir.lib.uwo.ca/totem/vol20/iss1/12/|title=Power Relations and its Influence in the Sphere of Globalization since World War II|journal=Journal of Anthropology|volume=20|issue=1|date=2012|accessdate=31 March 2016}} Further reading
3 : Life skills|Popular psychology|Interpersonal communication |
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